Pie face photo essay

For National Pie in the face day, myself, my visual biographer (David Coyle) and Doctor Matthew Arrowsmith tested which pies were best for getting in the face. What I discovered actually shocked me. Because the traditional cream pie was actually incredibly nasty. Getting hit with one of those lactic bombs was enough to destroy me for half an hour. A shaving cream pie was effective enough, but god, it burnt my eyes. One time my little brother sprayed rexona 24 hour anti persperant into my eyes, I remember trying to wash it out of my eyes, and having clumps fall out of them. TO be fair, it wasn’t as painful as the deoderant day, but still… not too pleasant.

What you are seeing in the photo is a steak and cheese pie test. Make sure that you cool your pie down somewhat otherwise you will scald your face. I’d suggest if you are to be using a meat pie, that you make sure it’s a well known brand, like Mrs Mac’s or Hangi in a Pie. They seem to have more disturbing texture to them, and it makes the pied question, just for a second, that maybe their face has exploded. That’s the sort of fear I am after.

Emissary tickets can be bought here. It will be a fun night